Gratitude

Wow, so I have been thinking a ton lately about all that I am blessed with. Do you ever feel like as a mom that some days you are just trapped. Don't get me wrong, motherhood is like the most amazing and rewarding experience of my life, but some days I just feel trapped, like the world around me doesn't exist and that I am going to lose it. I have also thought about how much I love reading my friends blogs because it makes me feel I am not the only one going through these life experiences. I think blogging was an inspired concept, it is my group therapy...really. You spill your guts out and friends read and comment, giving encouragement, then you can read your friends ups and downs and it makes you feel they are real just like you.
This week I have been noticing the beauty that is around me. It has been raining here this last week. I love the rain, in moderation, I love the rain. I need the sun, but rain is so nice and refreshing. I feel so thankful to live in such a beautiful place. Out of some of the windows in our home, we have a view of the local snow capped mountains and out of Hayden's upstairs window (three stories high) we can just about see the ocean. If one of the hills wasn't in the way, we would have an ocean view. Too often I get caught up (especially lately) in thinking about all the things I want, mainly a house. For some people their trial is that they suffer from depression, maybe they have a hard time getting pregnant, for me my trial right now is that we still haven't been able to purchase our own home and it is killing me. Amongst this and struggling with Hayden's hopefully age-related horrible behavior, by the way, I was told at 4 it gets easier. I was totally expecting the day he turned four, two weeks ago, to be a changing day for us. Then the other day someone said it changes when they are five, ahhh. In the meantime hopefully one of the three books I purchased off Amazon in a desperate search for some answers will help me. I hope they get here quickly. So, as I have been thinking about all of this lately, I have really been looking for answers and help, peace. My prayers lately have consisted of nothing but asking for things. Instead of reading my scriptures the other day I picked up my patriarchal blessing and read through that. In it it tells me to "take frequent opportunities to pour out your heart to your Father in Heaven for all the things you are blessed with, good health, living in a favored land...then as you do this Heavenly Father will bless you with things even without your asking." So, I have turned my focus instead to that of gratitude and I am amazed that such a simple thing has made all the difference. It is so easy sometimes to get caught up in selfishness, and I am guilty of that more than I realize. But today and hopefully from here on out, I am grateful.