31 October, 2008

Blessing in Disguise

Hello fellow bloggers. It has been a little while since I have written- because it has been a while since I have had the time to sit and relax. Life has been extremely CRAZY lately. I have seriously been "on-the-verge" of a lot of things lately. I have felt like I have been a way better wife than mom, and usually I feel the other way around. Usually I feel like I am a pretty awesome mom, but need to work on my wife roles. My kids have certainly gotten the brunt of my grumpyness- or shall I say STRESS!
With the market going crazy, this has a huge impact on Jared's pay. Although it hasn't actually affected a pay check yet, it will.
I have been holding down 3 part time jobs, although combined I spend about 35 hours a week working. This leaves little time for cooking, cleaning, playing and what-not. The good thing is that most of this I am able to do while the kids are either napping or when Jared is home. Lately I have had sweet Ashley watching my kids a few hours in the morning this week for me to try to get ahead, which I am finding never really happens because there is always more to do.
I have two callings in our ward. One of Primary Secretary of over 100 kids, which I love. And the other, Choir Director - and putting together the Christmas Program - which I love as well AND volunteered for (?!@&$*) Just Kidding - I really do love it!
On top of all of this, Hayden is no longer in pre-school as of about 3 weeks ago and so I have tried, at a miserable attempt, to be his teacher. We are also having some other issues with him that we are praying and looking for help and answers.
All of this combined for me has meant O-V-E-R-L-O-A-D, not to mention everywhere I turn there is a new crack where ants are flooding into our home.
I have been praying relentlessly for help, and have broken down several times over the past week as I have felt over-whelmed with life. At times I have felt I don't even have time to breathe. But, today I got an e-mail from my KIDZUI job, which I thoroughly enjoyed, I mean I get paid for watching Youtube videos and checking out websites, but they informed me they aren't going to be needing me through the rest of the year (and who knows maybe not ever again), but they like many other companies are having to cut back- luckily I was one of the few who made it through several of the previous cut-backs. I have not even felt sad since getting the news. I feel so happy and free and a load has been lifted off me. The money from this job has paid for all of my gas, groceries, misc items for over a year and I always thought I would be sad to see it go, but I know it is a blessing. The Lord and I new I would have never been able to walk away on my own, so it had to happen this way- and the timing is certainly a answer to my prayers, and a tender mercy. Just wanted to share.

6 comments:

Unknown said...

michelle - way to see the tender mercies even in the midst of turmoil! you're a wonderful example and you'll continue to shine through the current troubles.

loves, jessa

Debbie said...

i am so sorry, i wish i was there to help you. you are amazing!!!

Rachel said...

I had no idea you were so stressed and busy lately. I am sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed - I hate that feeling. I think you are doing an awesome job in your callings by the way, you have the most beautiful voice. Let me know if I can help at any time.

Holly said...

I'm sorry you were having such a poopy time Michelle. Call me anytime, if you have any, and we'll talk! I've been praying a lot lately too. I think a lot of people are struggling right now. I know you guys will be all right, though, you're such a strong person. You always have been. I wish I lived closer so I could benefit more from your faith, determination and your positive attitude. I love you! Call anytime. Holly

jlj said...

mj-
love you.

Unknown said...

I knew it! You sure put on a good front. You always say you are not stressing but I knew otherwise. I totally felt the relief for you when you said that you had that job lifted off your shoulders. You are amazing! I'm sorry that you've been so overloaded. I hate that feeling. I'm so glad that Heavenly Father is watching over you!